


Exit

by stormboxx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Language, Leviathans, M/M, Minor Violence, Purgatory, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-13
Updated: 2012-11-13
Packaged: 2017-11-18 14:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormboxx/pseuds/stormboxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel are running up a hill, to their exit and their only way out of Purgatory. Something goes wrong and it takes Castiel a lifetime to talk to Dean again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exit

_Dean?_

 

He had felt it the second his hand slipped out of Dean’s; like a cold, transparent wall was suddenly flung up in front of him. Nothing. Cas couldn’t see anything but the ugly wasteland he had kept running through for the last year. Benny and Dean had gone through with the ritual that kept Benny’s soul inside Dean, and a moment later they were hurrying up the hill, running from Leviathans closing in behind them.

 

_Dean, did you make it?_

 

Dean had been yelling. Yelling for Cas to hurry, for him to take his hand and not let go no matter what.

 

_I’m not leaving here without you._

 

It felt like they’d been running for hours, and the hill just kept stretching out, up, never ending. Dean held Cas’ wrist so hard it bruised, and Cas had noticed that since Dean and Benny had met up with him at the river bank, he’d started bruising more quickly. He started noticing things like becoming short of breath, fighting the urge to sleep. Didn’t matter, he would heal himself later. How Dean could still go on with such force, Cas couldn’t fathom.

“There! Hurry!”

They had both seen it. A blue light shimmering slightly at the top of the hill. Their exit. It was as if it suddenly gave them an energy boost they didn’t know they had. They could see the top of the hill finally coming closer. There was no time to check on their pursuers; The sound of morphed laughter mixed with intense breathing told Cas they were right behind, and that more had joined the show.  
When Dean’s hand reached the top of the hill and touched the blue light it seemed as if what he was touching became solid, like he was holding on to something. He’d dragged himself up, standing with half of his body inside the blue shimmer and he had used his last strength to drag Castiel to him. He’d screamed, like he was in agony, but he’d also laughed while telling Cas to hurry, and jump to him. Castiel clung onto Dean’s arm, and as he came closer to the blue light it seemed as if all other noices started to drown out. The only thing he heard was Dean’s voice.

“C’mon Cas, let’s leave this shithole!”

Cas could see the spot on Dean’s arm that he was holding, the spot that glowed, holding Benny’s soul in, changed color. It started pulsing, as he set foot on top of the hill, and as Dean hauled the angel up to stand on both feet, the spot on his arm started pulsing a deep red. For a split second Cas had abruptly stopped, almost hypnotized by the glow on Dean’s arm.

“Stop holding us back, let’s-“

It happened so quickly even Castiel couldn’t process it fast enough. He’d snapped out of his trance when Dean’s hand went limp, and leveling eyes with the older Winchester revealed two golden orbs staring back at him in a face without emotion. Dean released his grip on Castiel completely, and he lost his balance there, on the edge of the hill.

“DEAN!”

As he was falling backwards, he felt like everything slowed to minimum speed, he saw Dean’s mouth move, but the voice wasn’t Dean’s. The voice said ‘I’m sorry.’, and Cas could see Dean’s eyes change back to normal with a horrified look in them.  
Like someone firing a gunshot time seemed to shoot forward, Dean was sucked backwards through the light and Castiel fell in exact parallel backwards. The only thing he heard was a high-pitched sound, going higher and higher as he saw gray sky above him, and for the first time in his existence he felt like he wanted to cease being.

He felt nothing. Which in itself wasn’t a big thing, but the fact that he _felt_ what it was like to feel nothing made him hope for his existence to end. He crashed to the ground and not a moment later a Leviathan in the body of a huge man threw himself over Cas and started hitting him with such force a few blows would be fatal, at least for a human being.  
Castiel let him. His eyes open and unmoving, only locked onto the nauseatingly gray sky, he took blow after blow to his face, stomach, head.  
He started to feel pain now, but it didn’t change anything. He had the opportunity to heal himself, but he didn’t. He didn’t fight back or try to blip his way out this time.

  
It seemed to go on for ever, and he was unable to see through the eyes of his vessel now. He had swallowed several teeth and he felt several limbs were in the wrong position on his vessel’s body. His hearing had also left him. He let himself start to pray and he prayed to God to erase him. He wanted God to let him stop existing, when there was a sudden sharp sound pulling him out of his pleas to his Father. It was nothing more than a sound, a noise, and he couldn’t feel where it came from, but he knew it was Dean.  
Somewhere through the void his screams reached him and in an instant, like he was not operating it himself, Castiel used all that was left of his energy and powers to disappear, to transport himself to another side of the endless gray landscape, where he could stay low and heal.

 

_Dean?_

 

He didn’t know for how long he stayed like that; time wasn’t an angel’s worry.

 

_I’m trying to reach you._

 

Castiel prayed, healed, ran, stuck in Purgatory for a lifetime, but he never lost faith. The noise found him always, sometimes not as often as he wished, but it came to him without exception. It never ceased being exactly that, a noise, a sound, but when it grew stronger and higher Castiel knew he was on the right path.

 

And then, after a time that felt so long it was no need to be mentioned, he was standing in an ugly motel bathroom and the noise was now a whisper of the man standing in front of a mirror.

“Hello Dean.”

His voice was almost unfamiliar to himself, he couldn’t remember the last time he used it. But the warmth now spreading through his limbs, from using those words and seeing the disbelieving look on the older Winchester’s face, made him so content he finally let himself relax and let out the breath he’d been holding since, well, who knows?  
Dean touched his shoulder, squeezed it slightly, like checking if Castiel was actually there, if he was real or not. He’d never heard Dean’s voice so small and worn out, when the only thing that left his lips was a fragile ‘ _How?_ ’, and unlike that day Castiel had been found by the river, so long ago in his mind, he was the one to drag Dean into a tight embrace this time. It didn’t matter if he was doing it right or not, from memory he knew that this was what humans did when they where happy and relieved and thankful, and right now Cas was all of those things.

“This time it was my turn to pray to you, Dean”.

Tighter, breathing in. Still Dean, as he used to be.

“And my faith in you has never wavered”.

Dean whispers something, and Cas smiles.

“I know, Dean”.

His eyes fogs up ever so slightly and Castiel looks to the ceiling and lets out a short laugh, laced with all the things that he believes is happiness.

“That’s how I found you”.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first time posting and also my first time ever writing a Destiel fic, so I'm equally nervous and excited. This is my take on what happens before Castiel finally gets out of Purgatory. To me, time in Purgatory is fluid, meaning even though Dean says and knows he's been away for a year, I understand it that time can feel different according to the individual. It's unbeta'd and written while I should be writing an essay for school, so I do apologize in advance for any mistakes. I'd love to hear your comments or critizisms. Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
